Confusing social networks
Computers, the Internet and social networks can be very confusing to new users. People wonder, if it’s professional for a teacher to be on Facebook at all, or if we can ignore friend requests from people we hardly know. Some people can’t see the difference between a business network and a dating site, which is not really that surprising as there are still people who don’t know the difference between an email and an Instant Message through MSN. (Or the difference between a book and a magazine for that matter.) It IS frustrating to those of us who have used all these things for years, but I think we have to be somewhat tolerant to the mistakes of an eager newbie, and just try to give a few tips here and there and hope the newbies find their way to them by accident because it would be too much to hope that they would actually google it… :p
If you have a newbie friend or relative who has just found the social web, you could find your favourite social network etiquette post and forward it to them through the medium they are most comfortable with.
Here are some of my tips:
1. Before you do ANYTHING find out what the site is MEANT FOR. Not all social networking sites are meant for the same purpose. The cultures between Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, MySpace and Match.com are very very different.
2. Once you know what the site is meant for, and you think it suits your needs, sign up and COMPLETE your profile. You will need a picture of yourself. It’s just nicer for everyone that way.
3. Before you contact a person, read their profile unless you already know them very well. Their profile will give you an idea what they are there for, and if they would like to know about you.
4. Before adding a person as a friend, consider your relationship with them. Is it appropriate for the site? Are you really interested in their daily antics? Are they interested in what you have t say? If you don’t know them personally, always tell them why you added them as a friend. (This rule doesn’t apply on Twitter though, you can follow anyone you like on Twitter.) Most of the time it is NOT the purpose of a social networking site to collect every other person on the site on your friends list. It doesn’t serve any purpose and it doesn’t make you look popular, it makes you look like an attention whore.
5. Don’t assume that people are using the platform in the same manner or for the same purpose as you are. (Related to #1, but not the same thing.) Especially on general social networks, like Facebook and MySpace it is possible that some people use it for dating and some for business networking. Find out what the person you are interested in is using it for and if you want to contact them for some other reason, be very respectful and make sure they know that you are aware that you have read their profile and that you are aware that you’re walking on thin ice.
6. NEVER invite people on a social network before you know if it’s worth it. Also, invite only selected people, not everyone on your address book! You probably don’t even WANT TO have everyone on your book as your friends so think for a bit. For example your happily married 60-year-old boss probably won’t appreciate your invitation to join LavaLife (a dating site).
7. (On Facebook & some others:) NEVER EVER invite people to use an application you haven’t tried out yourself. If the app doesn’t have “skip this step” on the invite friends -part, just leave it. It is probably not worth bothering your friends with! Also, consider who you send the invitation to when you do. The less you know a person, the less likely it is that they appreciate your invitation.
8. You don’t have to worry about ignoring friend requests or application requests. Normally these sites do not notify people about rejection. That would be a bad practise anyway if they did. The sites are not created to create drama but friendships. Of course, drama happens when there’s a lot of confused people around.
9. Don’t start a friendship by asking for a favour, like “Can you add me too” or “Can you retweet this” or “Can you visit my blog too as I visited yours?”
10. Remember that you are amongst PEOPLE, (who are not automatically your friends.) This may sound obvious, but it seems not to be. Consider what kind of message it sends to people if you select a screen name like “hugeDXXX76″ or “CheapAutoParts”. Speak to people online like you would speak to people offline. Don’t try to sell stuff to everyone you meet, especially not randomly. (Like I shouldn’t try to sell a wedding dress to a hetero sexual man for example.) Be respectful and friendly and at the same time, and do have a sense of humour.
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