Google’s track record with social networks hasn’t been awesome. If I was in their shoes, I would say the same thing, just in case it flunks like the rest of it. “ooh no, we’re not competing against Facebook or Twitter… No. Good heavens, no.” Yeah right.  Like Douglas Adams said: “If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family anatidae on our hands.”

Don’t get me wrong, with all those sour sounding grapes, I like Google+ (and grapes). Granted, my liking Google+ has a lot to do with my dislike of Facebook and boredom of Twitter. I just wish Google didn’t confuse people further with this “not a social network” business. People have just gotten comfortable with Facebook and the idea of social networking sites… Let’s just leave it at that. You have reinvented the wheel, and that’s great. I’m loving some of the features of Google compared to Facebook and Twitter… (See, comparisons are inevitable because it is so similar.) I especially like Circles and the fact not everyone need to be mutual friends.

So there. Quack.

But here’s the reason why I’m writing about this on this blog: If you’re relying on people seeing your stuff on Facebook because you have a page, think again. People who are your fans are very likely not to see another update of yours ever again, especially if they have a lot of friends on Facebook and who *gasp* use it a lot! The more people use Facebook, the less likely they are to notice your updates.

Facebook filters the content that gets in front of people’s eyes quite efficiently. First, there’s the Top News and Most Recent -filter. To get onto the default view, someone ELSE has to like an update or comment on it. This relies on someone, other than the person viewing the feed, go into the Most Recent-page and thumb up their friends’ content. Periodically I check the most recent -stuff, but I am personally most often watching the Top News only. How about you?

Then there’s the second filter, that you can set under the Most Recent -tab. Clicking on the Most Recent, you’ll find a drop down menu with Options-link. There, you can choose between two options: Show posts from “Friends and Pages you interact with the most” or “All of your friends and pages”. Now, by default it is set to “the friends and pages you interact with the most”. This means that unless people change it, they’ll be shown only the updates that come from friends and pages that they have previously given an active reaction to: Like or comment. If they just followed your page, they’ll never see your updates AT ALL if their setting is set to the default.

Is it only me or is anyone else getting a bit sick of this whole Facebook hype? It’s great, don’t get me wrong, I’m on Facebook all the time, but I would love to have an alternative that works better, not just for personal use but for business use as well.

Constructive criticism: You call this an effin' sock?

Unfortunately, it is very common for a website to create a culture of bitchyness if the administrators fail to discipline members early on. In the worst case scenario the bitchyness starts with the admins themselves, in which case the site is doomed to it. If the admins don’t know how to behave in a supportive manner, nobody else has a chance turning the site around. I have witnessed this with many websites. One that springs to mind was a community for photographers; the idea was to share your photos for “constructive criticism from your peers”. You can bet that when a new photographer is revealing their work for the first time to a knowledgeable audience and is greeted with nothing but bitchiness, nastiness and sarcasm, (nothing constructive about it) there is no way he or she will continue using that service. When they realize that it’s not really about their photos, but that everyone gets the same treatment, they may feel a little better about it but will find that the site has nothing to offer to them. On a site like this, meanness spreads like wild fire: If you said a nasty thing about my photo, don’ think I can’t find something wrong with ALL OF YOURS, you bitch!

It is completely up to you to set the tone on your websites. You cannot allow ANY rudeness to occur without reacting to it strongly and with as little fuss as possible -meaning that you cannot make it public (will easily result into a public flame war), but you will have to contact the offending member privately and let them understand that rudeness is not tolerated and if he doesn’t clean up his act, he’s good as gone. To fit in, people usually modify their behaviour to suit the surroundings. It is very unrewarding to be the only bitch in a group (because it’s not “fashionable” in the said group), but when you get one “friend”, on board, then another one… An yet and other one, THEN it starts feeling pretty damned cool. If you do not allow the first two bitches to bond, your site will be fairly safe to build on. As your site grows, you need to implement some sort of a report member (and post) -system to help you weed out the bad apples efficiently and without exception. You may put in a zero tolerance policy or a three strikes you’re out -policy, but you do have to be consistent about it. Sometimes people acting rudely are so ashamed of their behaviour that they’ll remove themselves after being corrected by the site admin. They may do this throwing shit at you during departure, but the reason they are departing is not because of you, it’s because they realize that going back into the group of nice people after what they said would be inconceivably embarrassing. And in all honesty, you don’t have anything against a rude person leaving your site. In fact, that’s the best thing that can happen to it. (If they don’t leave but keep bullying people, you can then give them a full ban and be rid of them.)

It is equally important not to let this policing go too far. It is not a relaxed place either if nobody is entitled to an opinion if it’s the least bit provocative (like, say being childfree) or a member is penalised for using words like “big head” describing a doll, because some member happened to be bullied by that name at school. Sometimes the victims can bully the community by being so overly sensitive, that everything reduces them into tears forcing the actually nice people tread around these sensitive souls like they were walking on broken glass. You can not allow this happen either. Everyone is allowed their own space, and their own thoughts and expression, but when one person tries to manipulate the space and dominate other’s way of thinking, speaking and expressing themselves one way or another, it is not cool. As a generic rule, if your first thought to a complaint is “don’t be ridiculous” or “grow a pair”, it’s probably about the member being manipulative instead actually in need of protection. (Unless you are inclined to being a bully yourself, in which case I don’t know how effective measurement this is.)

Even if a general balance is achieved, there’s always people who are so timid, that someone with a little more oomph to themselves will make an other feel inferior. You can’t help that. People are not created equal in talent and self-esteem, and if one person’s shine will make the other feel like she or he is sitting in a shadow then that’s how it’s going to be. It is not fair to ask a superiorly talented person to hide their candle so that others wouldn’t feel bad about themselves, any more than it is fair to belittle the untalented because their candle can’t shine as bright as the other ones.

Compared to Facebook

If you’re like me, you like to limit who sees your Facebook, but it doesn’t mean you wouldn’t have anything public to say. That is where Twitter or FriedEggs would come in. If you want to address a larger audience and get followers that are not your personal friends, this is it.

Compared to  Twitter

You will have more room to write, should you need it, and you can add multi media straigth into your message, kind of like on Facebook. You can also comment on a… an Egg? directly, or just “like it” just like on Facebook.

Compared to Both

You get a front page list of the latest eggs with and without photos/videos. I really truly miss this feature on both Twitter and Facebook, but the Eggs has it. I really like Fried Eggs as an addition or link to both Facebook and Twitter.

Follow my eggs. XD

An English speaker using non-verbal communication.

Tell me if you agree (if you can). This is a thought that just popped into my head and I’m not sure if my hypothesis is accurate or not, but I’m going to share it with you regardless. Over the years, I’ve ran several Finnish language communities and tried to start at least equally many in English, with very little luck. I just realised, that from the get go, the Finnish communities have a different feel to them than the English, even though the same person – me – runs them. The same feel is present in other, successful English forums as well. They are far more reserved and cautious than the Finnish equivalent. And isn’t that a surprise if you have spent half a day with a group of Finns face to face!

Finns flock online. We thrive online. We drop our guard in a split second and spill our guts to the world – or well, to our nation, as the world doesn’t speak our language, even Google Translator is at loss with us. Online, we seem amazingly open, friendly and WARM. I make friends of fellow Finns online constantly, but not with such a luck with the English speaking people. A couple, here and there, but not with as much ease. I have a possible explanation for this.

Finns rely on mostly spoken message in their communication even face-to-face. Our basic interaction-face could be described as “a stone face” or “a poker face”. We’ve become extremely efficient in picking up tones and the choice of words from each other, as well as the minimal signals we give out in facial expression. When an English speaker sees no change in a Finns face, we can look at the same person and see if he’s on a bad mood or excited beyond description. But I would guess, that since we are so good at picking up tones in speech, we are more efficient in it in writing as well. Also, the facial expression doesn’t carry as much weight as it does to an English speaker. We would be pretty much as comfortable talking to each other with our heads covered in black bags as we are without them. We would feel silly, but that’s all.

In the photo, I have an English speaker waving his hands around, with a silly grin on his face. As we assume he speaks English, he’s fine. If you saw a public speaker in Finland speaking Finnish doing the same thing, we’d be thinking “what a complete wanker” and would probably not believe a word he said. And probably, the English speaking need exactly that to trust him.

The English speaking, when posting online, are probably thinking a lot more about who is going to read their post. The possibility to be misunderstood is far greater. Essentially, they are speaking to the whole world, to a host of different countries and nationalities, cultures they might not even know about. It puts a fair bit of pressure on you if you start thinking about it too much. Then, of course, they keep telling us that 90% of communication is non-verbal. When you’re not used to relying on people’s words alone, you can feel like you’re walking on thin ice with people you can’t see. Maybe that has been my problem when dealing with the English speaking, maybe they need a lot more reassurance of your character and intentions than the Finns do. I probably can’t use the same template dealing with the English speaking as I do with Finns.

What do you think, especially if you have experience in both nationalities, not only when running online communities, but also chatting with them, tweeting and that.

I started writing a newsletter for my community site theBdoll.com at the beginning this year. First I thought I would just write a normal email and be done with it, but a silly thing happened – I run a bilingual site, so I would need to write in two languages and the other would have to scroll down to read the email in their language. That is when I decided to make two pdf’s, one in each language. And while I was doing the pdf, I thought why not put a couple more pages into it, and ended up writing a full blown e-newsletter, as in a little magazine. My members LOVED IT. They went absolutely ballistic over it, and I was blown away by the reactions. I got email from people who hadn’t visited the site for a while saying what a great idea that was and a lot of people raised their hands saying they’d like to help me with the newsletter in the future.

The whole project has brought the community closer together and as close knit as we were, the newsletter has made us even closer – I feel.

In each of the issues I introduce two of my members. Hopefully that will make all of us look more approachable as well as interesting to the non-returners – there is a lot of different types to go around, and I’m sure eventually everyone will find someone they’ll relate to and feel safe with if they’re more quiet type. In addition to that, the newsletter, or ezine rather, contains news, the latest hot stuff and a humorous gossip column of or members dolls – we’re Barbie collectors.

Of course, not all sites have topics that allow quite that elaborate ezines, and on the other hand, your topic might be even more open to ideas, I know that each issue I’ve made has brought in another idea. Have a look at our newsletter to get ideas for yours! http://www.thebdoll.com

Don't let the evil crim use your innocent face as his cover

Most of us have  a Facebook account, and the more popular Facebook gets, the more attractive it is for hackers, who want to use your squeaky clean profile as their cover when doing something you would never do. Hacking these days is not too difficult. I’ve tried it once, (with a test account) and without any experience got through CAPTCHA image verification using nothing but an automated program, which some people still think is impossible for a computer to do. It’s not – it will take a computer more time and more attempts than it does for a human, but it can do it through it on trial and error basis. Back to Facebook then.

Picking a strong password

Facebook hacking is done simply by finding out someone’s login (your email) and then testing out a series of letter combinations, actual words  to start with, then continuing randomly, until the correct one is found. If your password is a clear English word, it’ll be amongst the first ones to be cracked. What you want to do is pick a word you can remember, then add some numbers (in the middle) and capitalisations to it. Something like “R4nD0M612″. Pick numbers that are special to you, but not special enough for anyone to pick, such as (not) your birth date so you can remember it, then type it up a few times so you will remember it with your fingers as well, so you won’t have to keep copying because you can’t remember it.

Hide your email address like it was your passport

For sites that are very popular, and the most likely to get hacked, such as Facebook, use a separate email address that you will not be using for any other purpose than this. If you are a domain owner, this should be an easy task for you as you can just add an email address that will forward stuff to your real account if needed, but if not, try something like http://sneakemail.com/to create an additional email addresses for this use. This way it will be harder for a hacker to find out your email address you used to sign up, and makes it that much harder for him to get to your profile – and with so many easier options out there will probably leave your account alone – unless he takes it as a challenge, which I doubt, with so many more tempting targets out there…

When you change an email address to your profile, remember to remove the email address you previously had in use, as all emails stored with your account can be  used as logins. Facebook will nag to you about adding an additional email, so do the same with another email – have two complete oddity emails (such as 82ldh03@yourdomain.com.) Also, then remember to hide it from others, including your friends, because you don’t want to get email to that account anyway. You might be tempted to add another “spam account” type of email to show to your friends, but don’t, since this will function as a login to your account and you don’t want a spam-account as your login email if you want to keep your profile safe.

Then you simply have to remember which email you used to sign up and log in. You can make your computer to remember your login information, unless you use a public computer, in which case you definitely should not.

Why would anyone want to hack my Facebook account?

In addition to identity theft, which might actually be in the minority of reasons to hack someone’s account, there are other reasons for it, for example an annoyed or jealous ex… If you’re anything like me, you’ve got a couple of crazy ones in your past. School bullies use this sort of tactic a lot, and if you’re a parent, I wouldn’t rule out possible bullies using your account to torture your kid. (Imagine the horrible things they could make you say to your kid if they could use your account!) Some people enjoy simply creating a mayhem amongst people so having the login information of someone… ANYONE with a bunch of friends, could be a fantastic source of entertainment – at your expense.

Applications

Applications on Facebook are a security risk, as every time you add one, you grant an access to all your data. What is worse, a lot of the applications can access your data if your FRIEND has added an application and you haven’t told Facebook not to allow access to third party applications. I learned this the hard way: Someone of my friends added themselves to a mailing list of some product specials, and apparently gave access to my information as well. Now I get spammed continuously about products I don’t want in a country I don’t live in. (Hiding your email will also hide it from applications.)

To make sure you’re allowing your friends to give out as little information as possible, go to this address to tweak your third party application privacy settings on Facebook.

Last of all, keep the number of installed applications as low as possible, using only those that are of absolute importance to you, or applications you trust. Use applications from well known developers, and avoid things like gift apps and personality tests and all those dodgy things. While most of these are harmless, it only takes that one…

I hope you will find some peace of mind knowing you’ve done your best to close the doors on your Facebook account.

If you know some more good tips about keeping your account safe, please add into the comments!

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A friend of mine had the Astronault Barbie of 1985. We thought she was the most beautiful Barbie ever made, but I don’t think she ever got to the space. My fashion model Barbie, officially named Magic Moves Barbie from the same year did one session of modelling straight out of the box in Christmas ’85, but that was the last of it. After that, she did a lot more camping than modelling. I loved that doll, but not for what was written on her box.

I think, in that regard, the Computer Engineer Barbie has a lot more chances to actually get to practise her occupation than many of her earlier name sakes did. I doubt it very much that the Presidential Candidate Barbie was campaigning much in kids plays, or that Becky the Para Olympian Barbie stayed in her wheelchair for much longer than five minutes at a time. Computer Engineering doesn’t have to take away from the play, it can actually add to it. Even though the focus of the play might be dating and doing exciting stuff, I can easily see the Computer Engineer actually popping in for some work while she’s busy with the other parts of her life. The reason being, that a lot of kids have computer engineer -parents, so they know what the heck it is about!

I don’t know about you, but I love this doll, and I’m so getting one as soon as I can get my hands on one. Even though I am 33 now, and have been obsessed with Barbie my whole life, this one is the closest to being my kind of a girl – right out of the box.

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During the years I’ve been working with forums, I always get positive feedback about the emoticons, and when I’m talking to the people on some other site, they often refer to the forum emoticons by typing a description of it in the message like: *the cute hugging smiley* or similar. Doesn’t that tell you how much people love them?

Okay, so here’s a link to my favorite place to find emoticons – Deviant Art, naturally. (Oh there’s some new cute ones, I wanna get a few, too…)

Gifts

Yes, you can block applications, but you’ll have to do that separately to each application. I WISH I could just block all gift apps at once! I am a Barbie collector, and you can bet I get Facebook Barbie gifts a lot, from more than one app and from more than one friend. I love Barbies, but I still blocked all Barbie gift -apps, because I like them in flesh and… sorry, in plastic and vinyl instead of pixels on the screen. So if I block a gift app of things I love, how do you think I feel getting a bunch of other “gifts” that just take up the space from the stuff I really like to see – my friends actual updates and their photos. (Yes you can select which type of feed you want to see, but if all these gifts are posted on your wall and you want to see if someone has actually sent you something worth while, you’ll have 3 pages full of gifts… ARGH!)

Games

There are few games I love on Facebook and that I play a lot… Too much in fact. Every time I get a personal high score, the game asks me if I want to post it on my profile. I select “no” 99% of the time. I post it if I score MASSIVE, which happens maybe once a month. I also played a game, Vampire Wars, which required some wall posts to work well, so I created a separate account for it, so I could only add people who also play Vampire Wars and wouldn’t be annoyed by the constant updates. Other games that can be annoying as hell: Farm games, the zoo games, pet games, Mafia, pretty much anything that does repeated public updates. Either don’t play them, only post sparingly or start a separate gaming profile and only add fellow gamers. (There’s Facebook groups where you can find strangers to play with so you don’t have to bug your co workers with it.)

Quizzes and “personality tests”

Most of these are so dodgy that I don’t know why you’d like to fill them. They may be entertaining for a few times but seriously? If you take the quizzes, consider if the response has enough entertainment value to be posted on your wall.

Let’s just say that if you’re over 15 years of age, and your friend is over 15, lay off the entertainment apps and only post them to people who you know very well or who you know enjoys that stuff!

Signing up for newsletters on Facebook

DO NOT DO THIS. Some of them not only add you, but your friends as well, so please, please don’t do this through Facebook! (You know how the app asks you to give a permission to access Yours and YOUR FRIENDS information through your profile?) I’ve been starting to receive a lot of “offers” to my email through Facebook, and there’s not a snow balls chance in hell I would have signed up for those, especially as they come from Finland and I don’t live there anymore!